19th, April; Check Out The Drama!

How much longer will it take me to realize that I just can`t use anything

made by Apple!

Everything is still quite boring at the moment, I do apologize for not having that much of an interesting social life!


I`ve been back at sixth form for just over a week now, and I`m already falling out with everyone and creating arguments for no reason. There is a reason for all of this, trust me, I didn`t just kick off for no reason like I usually do. And with this one, I`m just going to jump straight into what happened and then try to change the topic again...


This girl (who I won`t name) likes weed, pot, drugs, whatever you want to call the green piece of fluff that everyone seems to enjoy these days. This girl was in fact my best friend up until the beginning of this year (so September), as she didn`t speak to me so I though "eh, fuck it" and didn`t bother with her anymore, still on a speaking basis but not a bestie, let`s go shopping basis.
So this girl likes the green stuff, a loooot since she got with her boyfriend (who I`ll also not name), and even though I don`t talk to her and I don`t listen to her conversations all of the bloody time... I can still pick up little bits of what she`s talking about.
Now, my sister literally almost died from taking the green stuff. She became an alcoholic and then became anorexic, her body was shutting down quite quickly and she was extremely ill; it tore our family apart and we almost lost our sister. But this I my older sister Emily, who is the most amazing single mum I`ve ever met, and she clearly turned her life around after almost letting the green stuff ruin it all for her.
So this girl loves the stuff, and I can hear her all of the time trying to get another one of my friends (who I will also not name) to try and smoke it with her and her friends, and this friend is (hopefully) going into the army, which could completely ruin his chances of getting in which would seriously ruin the future he ha planned for himself. She also speaks about how amazing it is to get high, how amazing it feels and how happy she is whenever she smokes it with all of her friends, how amazing it is to SMOKE IT when you`re pregnant (that can give your baby a brain hemorrhage and kill them in the womb)... Also, how the munchies apparently "cripple" you or something, god knows what that was about.
Then one day, last week, she was talking about it again, on about how amazing it is to smoke it all and how amazing you feel. She also gets people to sniff her bag since that just stinks of the green stuff and it`s absolutely disgusting.
Since this girl used to be seriously close to me, I thought she would at least remember me talking about how ill my sister was from smoking it. And her talking about it constantly is the equivalent to someone talking about hoe amazing cancer is... That`s just the way it feels to me, but she didn`t quite get that. Sooooo, I kind of ended up yelling at her in front of some of the people in the class, I got rather upset and cried awell since it reminded me off my sister and she was just saying that everything she say about it is what she`s been told... Which I don`t quite get, cause to me it sounds like her friends or boyfriend are putting words in her mouth, but you know, not my business.

Check out all of the latest Illustration work on
Deviantart!

I did apologize in the end and I did say I was sorry and that I didn`t mean to yell at her, but I think she really isn`t bothered about my apology and she`s going to hate me anyways... Since that's what everyone likes to do with me at the moment. But yeah, I said I was sorry about it, I`ve been ridiculously stressed with everything right now, even breathing and blinking seems to be stressing me out.


Enough of that anyways!
The countdown to my exam keeps on going, I`ve got just under three weeks now to get everything ready and prepared for the final exam, the exam is three days long and I`m absolutely terrified of it. I`m doing a series of three boards showing the decay of nature and I`m using recycled materials that I`ve been finding so I can try and portray how we waste materials and kill the earth.. Weird right? I`m trying to get everything ready for the exam, but I`m stressing out about everything at the moment. Especially work, I`ve had a nice weekend off and I spent it with David and some friends, but tomorrow I`ve got a full training day with my mum and a loooot of other people who have also signed up. It`s an adult protection training day to ensure that we are safe guarding everyone in our care, I seriously love working there, but days like this will most probably be the death of me.

As far as art work goes, I`ve learnt how to knit and it`s absolutely therapeutic and I love it sooo much already! I haven`t knitted anything properly yet, just random small squares at the moment that haven`t really got any meaning, but I don`t mind, it`s just nice to sit in bed and do late at night whenever I can`t sleep. I`ve been doing quite a lot of small illustrations in one of my sketchbooks, and I`ve also been working off of ideas that I get from some of you guys, thank you very much for all of the suggestions, I`m getting down them quite quickly and They`ll all be on deviantart very, very soon!
I am quite scared at the moment awell, soon after my exam, I think about a week or so, I`ll be leaving sixth form and won`t be back in education until September, which means that I`m going to have a much longer summer holiday than usual.
Guarantee you, I`ll be working all the way through up until University.


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13th, April; Back To Sixth Form!

Found all of my old sewing equipment again!

The past two weeks where going to be my time to relax, chill out and just have some time to myself for the first time in a while. But no... I spent everyday (apart from two) at my job at Bramble Lodge and I`ve been trying to get to the normal working routines there, since for my job, there are four different routines that I need to learn like the back of my hand.
So I have been struggling a little bit with all of the different diets I need to learn for every single resident, and then all of the names of the residents and staff members.
Along with trying to remember everything there is that I need to do and remember everyone's individual needs... I also have to do coursework towards my job. To work without supervision and as a basic qualification, I need to complete the Care Certificate; there`s 15 standards within it (so 15 units/modules) and I have a week to do each Standard. At the moment I`ve already completed four of them as I asked for some more to do for after sixth form, but I haven`t got the next two yet, I need to go and pick them up as soon as possible.


In the holidays I didn`t do much, I am back at sixth form now which means that you`ll probably be seeing some more uploads from me on these three blogs.
I did however, did a little bit of collage work but not tons as I didn`t really have that much time to sit down and do it all. I did learn how to knit within the holidays, and I found a load of my old wool and string so I can start sewing again! Well hopefully. When I get paid at the end of the month, I`m definitely going to buy myself a sewing machine so I can start again, I don`t know why I stopped within the first place really.
Originally, when I was quite young actually, I really, really, wanted to go into fashion and do fashion designing. But throughout school I drifted further away from it as studying took over, and then Art lessons in senior school where all about making sculptures and stuff so then I completely drifted off from Fashion.
I`ve been thinking about it quite a lot lately actually, I think it`s because I`ve somehow found it all again underneath my bed... And I`m not even sure as to how they got under there in the first place, I really can`t remember finding them, to then put under there, forget about and then find again about a year or so later. I seriously do want to get back into something fashion related though, I kind of miss it. It makes me miss it even more when I see other people in sixth form doing fashion illustrations for outfits that they`ve thought of, I really, really want to start again!

Happy bees! Inspired by @sal_mon21

on Instagram!

So then, since I`m back at sixth form right now there`s going to be a lot more art work being uploaded over the next few weeks or so. In about 4 weeks, I`m going to be undertaking a three day long exam for my Fine Art A level, and I am expected to get an A grade in this.

I`m already practicing on small boards with different colours and textures, and even though I`ve only been back for three days I`ve stayed behind all nights until about 5pm/6pm and I`m starting to feel tired now.
At the moment, I feel like I`ve got enough work done to support everything I`m continuing to do at the moment. My sketchbook is almost complete, I`ve just got to document my practice boards and my final piece planning, and then I should be completely done until after the exam. Along with all of this, I`m just finishing my final forms for student finance, ready for University in September, I still need to make an appointment at the doctors to get them to fill in some forms too and at the moment I`m quite scared about sending everything off and I`m nervous about starting University in September.



Because I`m not going into University accommodation, I feel like I`m going to be left out a little bit and I might not be able to fit in aswell as everyone else will. David is going into accommodation, for personal reasons, and I think that he`s going to get on with everyone really well and he`s going to have a big friendship group to start off with... but for me, I feel like I`m going to struggle with fitting in as easily as David; he`s so lovely and everyone does love him, and I just feel like everything is going to be much more easier for him since he`s going to live where he`s studying and he`ll always have those other students and friends around him.
I`m going to join after study clubs and groups, there`s a gym there that I`m going to join and a huge gaming society that get together and do twitch streams. I`m looking forward to joining all of those, but still a bit worried about fitting in with Art students and other people that`ll be on my campus. Hopefully, it`ll be easier for me to make friends through those kinds of groups I think, a lot of art students are very competitive and don`t work together to much when it comes to projects, but it also depends on what course you`re on... Fashion is the worst for it!

I might just be thinking to much into it already, but then again it`s getting close to when I need to send all of my forms off and results day and then the Universities response to see if I`m definitely in or not... It could just be the anxiety setting in now, and I don`t know if anyone knows this yet, but every year and around about the same time, exam time, something always goes wrong health wise.
So for two years around about the exam week, I couldn`t eat properly, one year I had a facial tic, one year I refused to leave the house because I was scared and last year I couldn`t move for four days as I was bed ridden with violent vomiting... yeah... So I don`t know if all of this worrying is just because of my anxiety leading up to my exams.
Not sure yet, I think I`ll know when I`m blogging about me throwing up a lot.


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2nd, April; How`s the new job?

Hello, and welcome back to how boring my life is when I`m not at sixth form!

I`ve now started my new job properly, I had my induction shift on Tuesday and I`ve had a late shift and an early shift back to back which have absolutely killed me! It doesn`t seem like it at first, but it seriously tiring and I`m lucky I went out and got a new set of memory foam trainers before I started, if I had used my shoes from B&M then my feet would be extremely sore and swollen right now.

I`ve been shadowing this lovely girl called Jenny who`s a bit older than me, and she`s been showing me everything there is that I`ll need to know. I`ve also got a late shift notebook and an early shift notebook, there is sooo much stuff that I need to keep note of at the moment and I don`t feel like I`m getting anywhere with it all right now, there`s just too much to take in at the moment and I`ve only just covered one side of the care home. I`m going to be shadowing another woman tomorrow morning actually called Debbie, I haven`t even met her yet but I hope she`s going to cover the other side of the care home tomorrow because I haven`t even been down there yet and met the residents who live down there.
In total there`s about 60 residents there at the moment, so every morning that's 60 beds that need changing, 60 people who need drinks and 60 people that need to be fed three times a day and it must be absolute chaos for the carers... And that`s why I`m there! My job at the moment is only a homes assistant job but that means I do everything that the carers and senior members of staff don`t have time to do, and if I didn`t do that then nobody else would be able to work properly.
The managers are also amazing, since I`m working along side sixth form and then University so they`re letting me work two weekends a month so I still have two weekends to myself where I can relax and get any other bits of coursework done. Also, they`re paying for all of my training; the first certificate I`m getting is simply called the Care Certificate and it allows me to work in care without supervision and usually you would have to pay to do it yourself, but the home is paying for me.

I`ve also got a training day on the 20th of April, It`s adult protection and they run a lot of training days which they pay for, and then you get paid for attending the training day.
Even though I`ve only done three days of work there, I`m seriously enjoying it and I`m seriously happy to be there. The residents are so sweet and lovely, there`s just one who is so sweet and she walks around the home without a care in the world and I just want to take her home and cuddle her and give her biscuits... She`s that sweet and lovely.
Even though you`re working with people who have Dementia and Alzheimer's and a lot of them are severely ill, you would think it would make you feel quite depressed and sad to be around them... Even though what I just said probably sounds terrible to you, Working with them has made me the happiest I`ve been in a while actually; they are just so happy all of the time and talk to you about their memories of being in the army, or when they where at school and It`s just so nice to look at them smile whilst they talk about their old friends and memories.
I know it`s a terrible illness and it probably sounds like I`m glorifying it slightly, but even when suffering from something so terrible I`ve seen the brighter side of it all and I quite like it.

Very, very happy Amy right now! Plus I get

to buy nice new clothes when I get paid at the end

of the month!

Since I also did a Late shift (got home about 10pm) and then did an early shift the next morning (I had to get up at 6am) and I had been doing all of that running around, I was shattered yesterday and ended up doing nothing all afternoon, todays been my day off which means I`ve been able to work on my care certificate, upload this quick blog update and get an art post and anime post ready for upload.

Very tired, but I`m back to work and on an early shift tomorrow so I best wake up a little bit!




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