28th, February; A terrible week and betrayal.

Some of the stuff I`ve been trying to work on!

I know I said that this week is going to be weird since I`m going to be pretty busy with everything and preparing for my three day long exam. But this week has in fact been absolutely terrible. So I started to feel a bit better after having a sickness bug, which clearly back fired since I never ended up going to London because of it.
I did tell my art teacher on Monday that I wasn`t going to go because of my sickness bug, which then got me grief off of everyone else cause I turned up at sixth form and I didn`t stay at home, but I would rather be at sixth form rather than be at home feeling sorry for myself again. So I didn`t go to London cause I felt like shit, and then loads of other people didn`t bother turning up to the London trip just because they didn`t want to go... Which then got everyone, even the people who had work that night and couldn`t get someone to cover their shift, so everyone got in trouble on the Wednesday because that was just the next time we saw them all.
So for the past week we`ve been getting grief off of the head of sixth form and our art teachers just because about 5 people didn`t want to go just because they couldn`t be bothered. So the grief is never ending right now.


Then there`s been a big problem with my boyfriend and him doing stuff behind my back. Just so everyone knows, it has all been sorted out now, we`ve just got to wait until tomorrow to see how awkward everything`s going to be.
So David has been meeting up with a girl (I`m just going to call her girl to protect the innocent here), this girl is also a good friend of mine and is even in my art class. I trust David and this girl so, so much and at first I knew that they where meeting up and hanging out just like normal friends do. So about 3 or 4 months back it started to get weird and they where hanging out with each other more than me and David where seeing each other and they where constantly texting each other behind my back too. So I asked David to at least not see her that much, like any other girlfriend I got paranoid about how much they where seeing each other, and because they where seeing each other so much; I didn`t get the chance to see David, we never spoke outside of sixth form and from then our relationship kind of went down hill. So that was about 3 or 4 months ago...
Ever since then, he`s been texting her, talking to her behind my back and then meeting up with her behind my back and it`s been going on for so, so long; and I`ve been pretending not to notice it all. It has quite literally ruined our relationship, and right now I can`t trust him.

On Valentines day I found loads of this girls hairs all over his bed and it turned on they met up just the night before, and then when I had a day off last week, instead of asking if I was ok, he met up with her and spent the night with her instead. They where constantly messaging each other, meeting up, going to each others house and just constantly doing whatever they could behind my back. Finding the hairs in his bed was the last thing I could take and I told him to stop seeing her completely, not in a controlling way; this is the one person I don`t want him to see at the moment since I can`t trust either of them and they`ve been doing stuff behind my back for about 3 or 4 months.
I did confront David about it all, it was the past Friday actually, we had sorted it all and he had agreed to stop going behind my back and meeting p with her without me knowing (my anxiety does make me pretty paranoid). So David then talked to the girl and basically said "we can`t be friends anymore because you`ve ruined my relationship" and then it all kicked off pretty quickly. She ran off crying to the head of sixth form, David went after her and I was left upstairs not knowing what was going on. So then two of the bitchest girls in the year 12 art class come up and start whispering to another girl in my class and they begin staring me down. I ended up going down and kicking off at David in front of the whole sixth form because the way he had gone about had known blown everything out of the water... Everyone kind of sat their awkwardly as I was yelling, I didn`t even mean to yell at him actually! Then I went back upstairs and kicked off at the two girls in year 12 and then when David came back up I began to yell at him again in front of my class and then I broke up with him.
I stormed out of the sixth form and he chased after me, then everyone else watched from the windows.

I think the only reason that I seriously kicked off, broke down and cried about it all and then broke up with him is mainly because people are trying to get involved in our relationship again. I think that might of pushed me the most and that`s what made me flip out and yell at him and ended up with me breaking up with him in front of everyone. I think if people had kept out of it all then everything would of worked out properly for us since we had already sorted it all out.
I feel completely betrayed by them both right now, me and David have sorted it all out now but nothing has been sorted out with the girl. I could trust both of them with my life but right now I hate them both. The worst part is... everyone at my sixth form thinks that I`m a control freak and I`m the badguy in this case... but then again I haven`t been meeting up with people behind his back, I don`t text people behind his back and I don`t lie to him about anything. So right now feel completely betrayed in every possible way. The worst part is that no one else understands as to why I feel betrayed by this all, everyone just thinks I`ve been controlling over the whole situation and that`s made me feel crap about going back to Sixth Form tomorrow.

I really don`t want to go back to sixth form tomorrow, I know everyone`s going to be looking at me in weird ways and they`re either going to think I`m being stupid or they`re going to think that I`m an absolute twat for the whole thing.
I don`t know what I`m going to do, me and David sorted it out and I need to work on trusting him all over again and he needs to work on being completely honest with me no matter what.
Everything is just going to be so awkward from now on.


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22nd, February; A weird week and a full schedule!

Perfect pizza date!

So I never actually got round to updating last week, it turned out to be bloody hectic as my Nephew was ill twice and ended up making everyone else ill!
he had gastroenteritis and ended up giving it to me, then my older sister, then my younger sister and then my mum; so we`ve all been pretty under the weather and It`s been hell.

For starts, the week began with me just trying to get a bit of coursework done and I tried to have some sort of chill out time for a few hours each day, then Owen got a bump on the head and then he got ill and got gastroenteritis and gave it to the rest of us. Because we where all ill we did nothing and I ended up getting no coursework done until the last day off. It was only basic artist research work and now I need to get some work done that`s inspired by those artists, so I`ve got my plate full there.

I also spent valentines day doing what I think most people would prefer rather than going out after they`ve had a seriously busy and stressful week of running around like an absolute idiot. So we instead had a quite day together playing video games, having cuddles, relaxing in bed and just eating junk food all day. It was much nicer than going out and running around Nottingham because we late for a dinner reservation or something, I would prefer something like this over any date.

Back at sixth form, I`m just finishing up some work that`s supposed to be inspired by other artists I`ve been looking at. To be honest, I just like their drawing styles and want to give it a try as a starting point for the project, I will get round to some sort of proper drawing eventually, I got bored too quickly and then wanted to move onto the 3D stuff. But last time I didn`t get enough observational drawings done to get me the A or A* grade, so this time I`m going to need a heck load of drawing to bring my grade up to an A.
I won`t be going to the newly re-arranged London trip to the Alexander Calder exhibition as I`ve been un-well for the past four days, and I think being on a bus for about 8-9 hours (there and back) would probably spread the virus that I`ve got to everyone else on the bus. I think most people have decided to go, but I`m going to stay at sixth form and get some more coursework done now, I`ll probably leave earlier and come back home to get some designs done at home instead but as long as I work on something 3D-ish at sixth form then I`ll be happy.

A few friends of mine in year 12 have also got me in on a little design plan to make some side money with them, it sounds really interesting and I`m looking forward to trying it out. It`s just getting started and making designs to produce work from. I won`t say too much as we still need to get design samples and stuff together before we do anything solid. So more on that as we come up with ideas and stuff, when we get some samples made I`ll update straight away!

Now for the make-over kind of thing that was happening last week.
So as you may of noticed (I really hope someone bloody has cause It`s been annoying me for ages) I had so much dead hair that needed to of been cut off, and if I haven`t said already... I haven`t had my hair cut in about 2 years because I`m stubborn and hate having my hair cut since my mum made me have it in the same style for about 4 bloody years. So, All of that dead hair has been cut off and my fringe has been kind of sorted out so it covers my forehead without it looking like a comb over. Already my hair feels like it`s getting a bit thicker and it feels healthier and smoother and lighter, and It`s bloody weird. I also dyed my hair back to a more natural colour, light brown; however, everyone is arguing that it`s in fact borderline blonde, and it`s bugging me because I just wanted light brown but now everyone is saying that I`m a blonde... Damn it.
I do look a bit rough in that picture with the brown hair, I was about to head off to my dads and I was rather tired. I quite like the colour, when I`ve got my make-up on (properly) it makes me look less pale and my eyes seem bluer again.

So I`m happy, I`ve got plenty to be doing at sixth form and I`m starting to feel better slowly. This small project with my friends should take off soon, and I`m hopefully going to be spending more time with David!
Busy busy!


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12th, February; Busy Times.

When this selfie was taken, I must of already fallen

asleep on the coach three times. I got up at 5am for this!

So then, if you saw my blog post at the beginning of the week, then you`ll most probably know that it`s been pretty hectic and I now luckily get a week off from it all... Or so I thought.

Monday was basically a day for sorting out bits and bobs for my newest project, since we`re two weeks in now and I needed to be just a little bit more productive, I have got plenty of different kinds of drawings on the go, photography work, artist research and soon I`m going to get some work done that`s been inspired by artists I`m researching, which is going to be quite fun and quite challenging. So during the week off, I`m going to be spending a lot of time drawings and designing little things for my newest project and trying to design things that will go with these artists I have, to keep up with all of that, follow the link to my art blog  at the bottom of this post.

The Tuesday was the biggest joke of all time! We where supposed to be going to London, we left the school 20 minutes late, we all ready for this exhibition at the tate modern... and we never even made it to London. We where about half way there and it had already taken us 5 hours, we where still another two hours away from London and the traffic was really building up. A coach had broken down, and there had been two major accidents with two fatalities. So, our trip to London was us basically sat on a big fancy coach for 8 hours. It was a bit of a joke, and luckily, nobody hated each other by the end of the day. I was quite looking forward to this exhibition, because last time I really wasn`t impressed with the tate or the national portrait gallery; but these one seemed a bit more interesting and a bit more enjoyable than the one before. We`ve managed to schedule another trip down to London for the 23rd of February instead, so you`ll see another update about London around about then.

David, my lovely other half, then had his first university interview on Wednesday and I tagged along since he would of just ended up going by himself and probably being nervous as hell. I ended up sitting in the café at derby universities Markeaton street Campus for about two hours and a half. David seemed seriously happy with the interview and, by the sounds of it, it went really well. he`s got another one next Wednesday which I`m also going to and this one will be for Illustration at Derby University, the one that he`s just completed was Fine Art. You never know, we could end up on the same course!

Thursday was a lot more relaxed, and today was just basically gathering all of our work from the last project so it`s ready for marking, and then getting everything ready to bring home for this project. I`ve bought quite a bit home actually, I didn`t mean to obviously! I`ve also borrowed a hot glue gun so I can get some 3D pieces done whilst I`m off, I`ve got my sketchbook, plenty of paper and then all of my other sketchbooks that are burrowed away underneath my bed that will eventually need some tender love and designs.

Another, kind of exciting thing that`s happening... I`m having a complete make-over, yeah. not quite looking forward to it to be honest with everyone, the coloured hair is going, my eyebrows are going to be plucked for the first time and I`m going to have a hair cut for the first time in ages. That might sound weird to everyone else, but I seriously haven`t had a hair cut in the past year or so... there is a valid reason for it though! When I was in Senior school, my mum made me have the same short hair style for about 4 years, so I`ve been growing it out since because I`ve never actually had long hair. I`m having a proper fringe put in, it`s going to be dyed light brown and then underneath there`s going to be a few layers of silver so it`s easily hidden.
The main reason being for all of this, is that I cannot get another job with my brightly coloured hair and, unfortunately, my hair is dying and snapping off ridiculously easily because of the amount of dye I end up using to keep the colour. I`ve been pink for over a year and a half, and I`ve been purple for a while now.

Bye bye purple hair!

At least I can say that I had the guts to do it!


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6th, February: What`s Been Going On?

So, if anything I`m just seriously happy that I`ve got this new project to be getting on with right now. I haven`t got many ideas planned at the moment, which I should begin to think about otherwise I`m screwed...

At the moment I`ve been watching loads of new anime shows, but have only finished one completely. So hopefully can begin writing that review and It`ll be uploaded on to wattpad before you see it anywhere else, like on these blogs.

if you haven`t already noticed, I`ve recently updated the blog background for the Live Diary blog and the Art blog, I had the old ones for a while, in fact, I`ve had them since I started blogging and I needed something fresh to look at.

At the moment I`ve got a few design projects coming up, not ones that have anything to do with my sixth form course. Even though my most recent project is based around nature and the decay of nature, I`m going to try and get some other nature inspired pieces done in some of my sketchbooks. I sorted out underneath my bed and in the shed, where most of my materials are... I must have at least 15 to 20 sketchbooks that have absolutely nothing in them at the moment. So I`m hoping that I can get them filled up with some designs and sketches, if you want to see any of that, then your best heading off to Devantart and keeping up with some of my stuff over there.

Art wise, me and David got some photography work done, I haven`t done that many drawings or art work yet, only some small bits of photography. I`ve got some small flower drawings done in a spare sketchbook, and I`m planning on scanning them in and getting something done with them soon.

This week is going to be busy however, which is why I`m just trying to get a quick update done now. On Monday I`ll be helping David finish off his portfolio for his University interviews, On Tuesday I`ll be in London all day visiting some galleries then on Wednesday I`ll be going with David to his University Interview at Derby, then on Thursday I`ll be visiting Ink Kings and having a quick catch up with the guys there and, finally, on Friday I`ll be wrapping up my last day at sixth form before having a week off and hopefully visiting Shed2studios for some more work experience...

So yeah, pretty busy at the moment. When I can, I`ll do an art Blog update with all of the photography images and, hopefully, by the end of this week I`ll have some sort of drawing finished and ready to blab on about.

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