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| Some of the stuff I`ve been trying to work on! |
I did tell my art teacher on Monday that I wasn`t going to go because of my sickness bug, which then got me grief off of everyone else cause I turned up at sixth form and I didn`t stay at home, but I would rather be at sixth form rather than be at home feeling sorry for myself again. So I didn`t go to London cause I felt like shit, and then loads of other people didn`t bother turning up to the London trip just because they didn`t want to go... Which then got everyone, even the people who had work that night and couldn`t get someone to cover their shift, so everyone got in trouble on the Wednesday because that was just the next time we saw them all.
So for the past week we`ve been getting grief off of the head of sixth form and our art teachers just because about 5 people didn`t want to go just because they couldn`t be bothered. So the grief is never ending right now.
Then there`s been a big problem with my boyfriend and him doing stuff behind my back. Just so everyone knows, it has all been sorted out now, we`ve just got to wait until tomorrow to see how awkward everything`s going to be.
So David has been meeting up with a girl (I`m just going to call her girl to protect the innocent here), this girl is also a good friend of mine and is even in my art class. I trust David and this girl so, so much and at first I knew that they where meeting up and hanging out just like normal friends do. So about 3 or 4 months back it started to get weird and they where hanging out with each other more than me and David where seeing each other and they where constantly texting each other behind my back too. So I asked David to at least not see her that much, like any other girlfriend I got paranoid about how much they where seeing each other, and because they where seeing each other so much; I didn`t get the chance to see David, we never spoke outside of sixth form and from then our relationship kind of went down hill. So that was about 3 or 4 months ago...
Ever since then, he`s been texting her, talking to her behind my back and then meeting up with her behind my back and it`s been going on for so, so long; and I`ve been pretending not to notice it all. It has quite literally ruined our relationship, and right now I can`t trust him.
On Valentines day I found loads of this girls hairs all over his bed and it turned on they met up just the night before, and then when I had a day off last week, instead of asking if I was ok, he met up with her and spent the night with her instead. They where constantly messaging each other, meeting up, going to each others house and just constantly doing whatever they could behind my back. Finding the hairs in his bed was the last thing I could take and I told him to stop seeing her completely, not in a controlling way; this is the one person I don`t want him to see at the moment since I can`t trust either of them and they`ve been doing stuff behind my back for about 3 or 4 months.
I did confront David about it all, it was the past Friday actually, we had sorted it all and he had agreed to stop going behind my back and meeting p with her without me knowing (my anxiety does make me pretty paranoid). So David then talked to the girl and basically said "we can`t be friends anymore because you`ve ruined my relationship" and then it all kicked off pretty quickly. She ran off crying to the head of sixth form, David went after her and I was left upstairs not knowing what was going on. So then two of the bitchest girls in the year 12 art class come up and start whispering to another girl in my class and they begin staring me down. I ended up going down and kicking off at David in front of the whole sixth form because the way he had gone about had known blown everything out of the water... Everyone kind of sat their awkwardly as I was yelling, I didn`t even mean to yell at him actually! Then I went back upstairs and kicked off at the two girls in year 12 and then when David came back up I began to yell at him again in front of my class and then I broke up with him.
I stormed out of the sixth form and he chased after me, then everyone else watched from the windows.
I think the only reason that I seriously kicked off, broke down and cried about it all and then broke up with him is mainly because people are trying to get involved in our relationship again. I think that might of pushed me the most and that`s what made me flip out and yell at him and ended up with me breaking up with him in front of everyone. I think if people had kept out of it all then everything would of worked out properly for us since we had already sorted it all out.
I feel completely betrayed by them both right now, me and David have sorted it all out now but nothing has been sorted out with the girl. I could trust both of them with my life but right now I hate them both. The worst part is... everyone at my sixth form thinks that I`m a control freak and I`m the badguy in this case... but then again I haven`t been meeting up with people behind his back, I don`t text people behind his back and I don`t lie to him about anything. So right now feel completely betrayed in every possible way. The worst part is that no one else understands as to why I feel betrayed by this all, everyone just thinks I`ve been controlling over the whole situation and that`s made me feel crap about going back to Sixth Form tomorrow.
I really don`t want to go back to sixth form tomorrow, I know everyone`s going to be looking at me in weird ways and they`re either going to think I`m being stupid or they`re going to think that I`m an absolute twat for the whole thing.
I don`t know what I`m going to do, me and David sorted it out and I need to work on trusting him all over again and he needs to work on being completely honest with me no matter what.
Everything is just going to be so awkward from now on.
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